If you don’t own your value, no one else will.
Even if you read no further, then let that be your one takeaway from this post. At HCI we teach our students that a great coach needs to believe in herself first before helping client believe in themselves.
What every great coach excels at is not focusing on her client’s pitfalls and limitations, but on her strengths and unique capabilities.
A great coach knows how to reflect back her client’s highest self. By doing that you are constantly encouraging your client to step up to her highest potential by owning her VALUE.
What does “owning your value” actually mean anyway?
It means not cowering and running to the restroom to cry when your boss won’t give you a raise but standing tall and centered with your bold money goal crystal clear in your heart of hearts.
It means not taking it personally, getting defensive and spending the next week in bed eating junk food when your girlfriend dumps you because you know you are worth more. Maybe she just didn’t get you.
It means being clear about who you are and who you are not. And not trying to be anyone but yourself because it never works.
So here are 5 HCI ways to start owning your value today:
1. Do a mega brain dump of all your greatest strengths and talents
Do a brain dump of all the things that make you unique, all your greatest gifts, all your talents, all your strengths and best traits. Once you have it all written out in front of you, go through them one by one and own them. What this means is to get in touch with that one quality in you and say “hell yeah, I am a frikkin’ talented violinist” or “I’m one hell of a loyal friend” or “I’m really great at negotiating.” Whatever it is, own it. Pick your top five and own each one.
2. Revamp your wardrobe so you can feel like your badass self
How you dress is a statement to the world about who you are. Try something new. If you never wear that necklace because it feels to chunky and bold, wear it. If those are the trousers you only save for important meetings, wear them. If those boots you keep in the back of your cupboard, still in their box, are for the opera, whip them out and wear ‘em with pride. Strut your stuff. If you dress the part, you’ll start to feel the part. The part of you that truly values your self.
3. Surround yourself with people who value you like you wanna value yourself
Seriously. There’s just nothing quite like a shitty social environment to keep you down in the dumps. If you have even one bad apple of a rotten friend or lover or colleague who says things that bring you down, just choose to not associate with them anymore. If it’s a colleague, stick to cordial interactions that aren’t personal. If it’s a friend or a lover, tell them it’s over. The best thing you can do is surround yourself with people who think as highly of you as you want to think of yourself.
4. Cultivate the strengths & talents that help you shine like the star you are
What this means is taking one or two of your top strengths and taking time to cultivate them. So if you really enjoy playing the violin and you listed talented musician as one of your talents, that you want to learn to value more, then make time to get really great at it. Learn from master violinists, watch youtube videos of them playing and practice so you can start to really feel your talent so you can know your value. Or if you’re a writer and you want to be a better writer, then take courses, read books by great writers, and write, write, write. Only by focusing on what we’re good at, will we become great.
5. Hire a health coach to hold you accountable while offering support & stretch
For real. If you’ve never experienced being coached, you’ve gotta try it. It’s an experience like no other. It’s totally unlike therapy or counseling. It’s another animal completely. The great thing about hiring a health coach is that your coach is there to hold you accountable to achieving whatever it is you are aiming to achieve. If your goal is to learn to value yourself, great. Your coach will guide you with practical goal setting to help you achieve that. And she will do it by offering you a 50/50 combo of support and stretch, which is so important. Too much support is mollycoddling and won’t get you going very far and too much stretch will come across as pushiness and cause you to stop dead in your tracks.
Try these 5 Owning Your Value tricks and let us know how they go? Did they work?